Why is consent important?
Consent is a hot topic these days! Particularly since 2017 it’s been brought to our attention through the #MeToo movement, highlighting the discord and trauma which can happen in non-consensual personal and sexual relations. British politics has also brought to question the issue of consent and trust in the voting system in recent years.
The Wheel of Consent
Consent may contain an element of permission within its meaning, however it’s much more than this. Consent is the mutual agreement reached by two or more people, and the journey of reaching that point which usually involves negotiation. Consent is fundamental to us as social beings, and so important for living an authentic and harmonious life. This need spans all our relations; from our work colleague to our lover. Getting it wrong, not having a clear agreement, or acting outside of agreed consent can cause havoc in our lives.
The Wheel of Consent was created by Dr Betty Martin. It is a very useful and practical model of personal dynamics and how to create clear, safe agreement. The principles within The Wheel of Consent are very simple, yet most of us have not been given even basic education in these.
In this practical we break down two fundamental components of what happens in relating: who is doing the action, and who it it for. For example I make a cup of tea and it’s for you. This is only true if you actually want the tea, otherwise it may not be received as a gift, but something else!
The Wheel of consent is a deep enquiry into the nature of giving and receiving. It supports people from all walks of life to get more clarity on what they want, how to express it, and how to be in clear consensual agreement. Imagine for a moment a world where this way of relating was really in place throughout all aspects of society. A radical vision? It starts with the individual having a positive affect on their life, but also powerfully impacts the community they inhabit, creating and sustaining more collaborative and clear relationships.
Julia Hancock is a certified wheel of Consent practitioner based in Brighton, UK. Julia loves facilitating groups and individual sessions in the practice of consent. These classes are fun and engaging, and often life-changing.
You should know better…
Well perhaps we would ideally know how to know what we want, how to ask for it, how to listen to another and create an agreement, but did anyone show us how to do this? Most people have not had any education in consent, yet we are expected to have it in place. The Wheel of Consent offers easy to use, practical support to develop the practice of consensual agreement.
Would you like…
- to know what you want in each moment
- to feel heard by others, and to listen well
- to be able to assert your boundaries
- have the ability to say “yes” or “no”
- to create clear, calm agreements
The Wheel of Consent provides a structure to support people to slow down, notice, feel, value and then communicate what it is they want within an agreement.